Friday, October 17, 2014

From the sublime to the ridiculous (and everywhere in between)

The thing I hear the most from people (both friends and patrons, although most of my friends know better by now) is how nice it must be to have a quiet job like mine. How peaceful it must be to work with kids and books. How wonderful to be able to just read all day long. In fact I had someone say that to me just a few days ago.  I hear it at least once a week, and usually more often than that.

To them, I say HA! Here's an example of some typical patron interactions in the Children's Room and beyond.


It's a fairly quiet morning in the Children's Room. The kids are in school, there are no classes scheduled, and I am working on some book orders. A mom and her son come in, play on the computer and read some books. About an hour later, this happens.

Boy child, about 4, is running ruckus through the Children's Room, pushing a kick stool all around. Not noisy, but boisterous.

Mother: You need to stop.

Boy: *ignores*

Mother: You really need to stop. That isn't a toy.

Boy: *ignores and starts climbing up the shelf*

Me: Please get down.

Boy gets down and starts pushing the stool around again.

Mother: You have to stop now, or I'll start counting.

Boy: *ignores*

Mother: One.... Two.... Three....

(I think she's going to do something. Nope.)

Mother: Four.... Five....

(Ok, surely now she's at the end of her counting rope. Nope.)

Mother: Six!

(Six? Who counts to six? Ah, well, at least now she'll do some parenting.)

Mother: You are so close to losing some serious privileges.

(Really? That's it? When, exactly?? No wonder he ignores you)

Boy: *ignores for about 5 more minutes*

Boy: I'm bored, let's go now.

Mother: Okay. *takes his hand and they leave together*

Me: *headdesk*


It's an afternoon, mid week, on a nice fall day.
The place is busy with most computers in use and all three desks helping patrons with reference questions and checking out materials. It is after school, so the neighborhood kids are all either here, or on their way walking. 

Fire alarm at the library, and this is not a drill!  We get everyone outside quickly, the fire trucks and police cars come, it's all very exciting.  I have the front door covered and keep everyone to the far sidewalk.  The kids and other patrons are all pretty well behaved and wait patiently for the building to be cleared.  A woman walks up, and this conversation actually happens.

Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but we have a fire alarm. I can't let anyone in the building.

Patron: I just need to fax something.

Me: I don't know how long it will be; the firemen are here now. I'm sorry but everyone has to stay outside.

Patron: But it's just a fax. I'll be quick.

Me: I'm sorry, but I can't let you in the building until the fire department clears us to return.

Patron: *big dramatic sigh* Why do these things always happen to me? *walks away*

Me (and everyone else on the sidewalk): *SMH*


But, when all is said and done, there are always moments to remind me why I love my job.  This is one of the most recent, and one of my favourites (and that's saying something, since I've been at this for over 22 years!).

After story time, where we do This Little Piggie every week (we always do it with roast beef the first time, and the second time we pick a dessert), a tiny girl child comes up to me with a very serious expression on her adorable face. She is a regular, and has been coming to story time with her grandmother every week for a while now; and she really seems to enjoy it.

Tiny girl child: Miss Lorie, I am very worried.

Me: Why is that, sweetheart?

TGC, holds up hand and points to ring finger: Because this little piggy never gets anything to eat!

Me: Oh, I see. *very serious* Well, you can take him home and feed him if you want to.

TGC: *grins* Ok, I will! *skips off happily*

Me: *heart melts*


There are more, so many more! But I am saving most of them for my book. Or my blackmail retirement fund. (Just kidding. It'll be a travel fund, if anything.)

Stay tuned later for your Friday Fuzzy!

Thanks for listening.

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