Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Full Solstice Lunar Eclipse

So, here we are, just past mid-winter. The longest night of the year has gone. The shortest day of the year has ended. And we are on our way to spring, to light, to warmth and to faire. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I suppose.

I felt the power yesterday; did you? The power of the full moon, the power of the approaching solstice, the power of the nearing eclipse. It was a manic day, a flash of energy, a day of thoughts askew and emotions running high. And upon awakening this morning, I felt the calming, the smoothing of ruffled emotions, the bliss of the approaching light. I hope you did, as well.

And now, I give you....

Day 20~

Full moon under clouds,
hidden as earth's shadow nears;
yet power is there.

Journal Jar:
If you had to eliminate one emotion from your life, which would it be?

Hmmm, well, given the choice I wouldn't eliminate any of them. They are, after all, what makes us human (and what makes me, well, ME). Gemini are known for their strong emotions, their moodiness, their extremes of the heart and soul. I may bemoan the fact that I have these qualities, but to eliminate any of them would change who I am. And after years of exploration, creation, determination, hiding, praying, running, and finally standing strong, I like who I am.

That said, if I HAD to get rid of one, it would be the paranoia that strikes on occasion. It's not strong and it's not often, but it does happen. Especially when I start overanalyzing everything.

Day 21~

Really? Just 3 days?
That can't possibly be right!
I'm just not ready!

Journal Jar:
Did you wish you had more brothers or sisters? Why?

Having grown up as the oldest of two, I did sometimes wish there was an older brother or sister for me to lean on, learn from, be protected by and talk to. Not usually, though. I was pretty happy with things the way they were.

Thanks for listening!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Days 14-19, a fast catch up....

It's been a crazy and busy week. I have been shopping and cooking and entertaining and dreaming and wrapping and writing and cleaning and planning and laughing a lot this week. Hopefully I'll be able to stay more on track after the holidays pass on by. I really may have been crazy to start this project during the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas!

I shall endeavor to catch up, all in one posting. I'll post the haiku and journal jar from each day, but you'll just have to believe me that I have thanked at least one person every day. Most days, more than one person. A couple of days I thanked one person, many times. I actually think I am going to take the thanking part off the blog. The moments have been personal and private and a few have been emotional. I shall continue to thank someone every day, but starting in January, I am going to add in another daily task (to be announced at a later date) here.

So, on with the writing....

Day 14~
I've fallen behind.
Beginning in December,
not the best idea.

Journal Jar:
If you could forever eliminate one specific type of prejudice from the earth, which would it be?

The one that affects more of my friends than any other is certainly the one surrounding sexual orientation. That would go first.

Day 15~
A place that is peace,
calming the spirit, mind, heart.
A walk in the woods.

Journal Jar:
If you could accomplish only one thing in the rest of your life, what would it be?

Wow, I have no idea. I probably should say something like eliminate world hunger, or establish world peace, or promote literacy. They are all a little grandiose for just me, though. I think if I could do just one thing, it would be to be as honestly happy as possible while making others as happy. Because, really, that is what it is all about.

Day 16~
Smells like evergreen,
snow sparkles, frost decorates,
etches the windows.

Journal Jar:
Between the ages of 5 and 10, what was your favorite activity?


Day 17~
Dreaming of days past,
a chance to relive my youth.
What fun this has been.

Journal Jar:
Who do you need to forgive?


Day 18~
A Sunday evening~
thinking about the weekend,
tired but happy.

Journal Jar:
Where were you and what were you doing when you heard about the Challenger Space Shuttle Explosion?

I was in school and my mom came to get me. I remember she was crying.

Day 19~
All caught up for now,
'til time again runs away
and I fall behind.

Journal Jar:
If you were to name the single best deed a stranger has done for you in your lifetime, what would it be?

Many strangers sent assistance and aid when I had my house fire. One girl gave me a teddy bear that was given to her in a difficult time. I thank her every day, although I know not her name.


And so I am caught up. Until tomorrow....

Thanks for listening.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Lucky thirteen?

Well, I have always liked 13. Whenever anyone asks me my lucky or favourite number, it's the first one I think of, the first one I list. I love Friday the 13th (the day, the movie). I know not why, I care not why; it works for me. *grin*

So, I give you lucky post number thirteen....

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Tired of writing
about the horrid weather.
Is that all there is?

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Today I thanked someone privately (that is likely to happen now and then, but not often)

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: Describe a perfect spring day and activities on that day.

(Okay, first let me say that I do not open and look at the journal prompt until after I have written the haiku. This is coincidence? Luck? See, it's the thirteen effect!)

So, a perfect spring day. I think I'll brainstorm and dream this one as I go rather than thinking too much about it. It's late spring. Warm, sunny and green. There is a light breeze. I am walking Bailey in a park, a picnic awaits, with friends and lovers (like that wonderful scene in Camelot). There are flowers and trees, there is music, there is wine and laughter. The air smells fresh and clean and soft. There is a waterfall, a stream, a bonfire for later. There are no cares and there is not a cloud in the sky.

Oh, wow. I want that day!

Thanks for listening.

Day twelve.

Day twelve.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Sometimes it's easy,
words flow like molten silver.
And sometimes, it's not.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Sunday, I thanked two of my favourite people, my favourite librarians, my favourite bloggers (Debra and Beverly) for their words of encouragement.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

What is erotic for you? Use words to show what you mean.

Well, I have never been good at writing erotica (and yes, I have tried). I know good erotica when I read (or watch) it, but I just don't have the knack. Erotic to me is in a look, a touch, a taste, a scent. It is a single note of music that brings forth a flood of song. It is individual and encompassing, it evokes memory and creates fantasy. It is a dream when you cannot close your eyes and you feel flush start from the toes and flow through the fingertips. Erotic is knowing there is a spark, waiting for the flame and surviving the fire. Erotic is life and life is erotic.

Thanks for listening.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day eleven

It's been a long and busy, but a very relaxing Saturday. I made soup today, lots of very good slowly simmered soup. The hibernation bug has set in apparently, and I am stocking my freezer for the long winter's cold. My house smells of spices and herbs, cozy and warm. I also sorted and organized and cleaned and read and played in the snow. And I stressed a little, and I worried a bit, and I let the angst wash over me until it was gone. Almost. I thought, a lot and about a lot of different things; but I didn't come up with any answers. I read some astrology and played with some tarot, but I didn't get any answers there either. I do know one thing, though. I am lucky. Life is good. Stress solves nothing, but it seems to be a good diet plan. Okay, that's three things (maybe four....).

So, we are at day eleven....

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Dark, clear winter sky~
a hazy crescent pierces
the frost laden night.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Hmmm, it's interesting. I have spent this entire day in the company of only Bailey (my dog). It has been so long since I spent an entire day without any human interaction! I guess I have to thank the mailman for leaving my package on the chair on the porch, so the melting snow wouldn't get to it. (The UPS guy left my neighbor's package right near where an icicle is dripping; I was nice and moved it.)

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

What emotions surface when you see small children?

Well, that entirely depends. Most of the time when I see small children, I am at work and no emotions surface, really. I am glad for small children (job security), I am tired of small children (well, their parents mostly), I love small children (my nephews). And yes, when I see a baby, I get all gooey and have to hold him or her.

Thanks for listening.

Friday, December 10, 2010

A frolicsome Friday

Ahhh, Friday. Finally Friday. Frolicsome, fun, fanciful, foot-pampering Friday! I drove in to Syracuse last night after work, as Mom and I had early appointments for spa pedicures today. And it was bliss. We relaxed and chatted and were pampered. We went home through the snow in flip flops and let our toes dry and warm up. We went to Wegmans! (I miss Wegmans *sigh*). I was able to leave the stress and thoughts and worries and work and angst of the week behind and just enjoy some Mom time. Bailey got all dressed in his fleece jacket and boots and played in snow over his head, then he barked to come in, warmed up and dried off and went out to do it all over again. It was just what we both needed.

Then I came home and found that the stress and thoughts and worries and work and angst of the week had really been left somewhere along the Thruway, well most of them. I am at the end of day one of a three day weekend that is all mine. Bailey is all curled up and cozy in his warm bed, nose tucked under his tail, dreaming about the squirrels that got away; I can hear his little dreamy barks and yips and see his tail twitching and his legs wanting to run and run.

The house smells wonderful. I have a fridge full of turkey and broth and vegetables. Tomorrow I am making soup and making truffles and relaxing and writing holiday cards and playing in the snow with my dog and reading about Claire and Jamie and crocheting an afghan and enjoying ME time (and yet....). I shall enjoy me. For when I enjoy me, it is easier to let others know me.

And my toes are pretty.

So, on to day ten~

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Time with Mom, priceless ~
pretty toes and lots of laughs.
Memories that last.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Today I thank Dad. He took my car over to the garage and got me new windshield wipers while Mom and I were getting all pampered. Thanks! Really, what would we do without the Dads?

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

If you could eliminate one cause of death on earth, what would it be?


Thanks for listening.

To regret or not to regret....

I've got nothing clever to say about Thursday. It was a day, unlike any other. And yet, it went on, like any other. So, with no further ado, I give you day 9.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Some days are just meh.
This was not one of those days.
But now it's over.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

I thank Tara. She is one of the moms who has been coming in with her kids for story time, and we have become friends over the past few years. She always has a story, a laugh or a smile; I look forward to her visits every week, and her kids give the best hugs and high fives. (And she gave me the most gorgeous bracelet for Christmas.) So, I thank Tara for her smiles and her friendship.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: What one thing in your life do you regret the most?

This is a tough one. I really don't have any regrets, per se. I have learned that they are really a waste of time and energy. Regrets are a force of negativity, and this project is geared to positive energy. That being said, I guess if I had to pick something I would say I regret any hurt I may have caused people over the years, any heart I may have broken, any tears I may have brought on. There is no way to go through life undamaged, and there is no way to live and love without inflicting pain, but I am sorry for any I have caused. And for any I may cause.

Thanks for listening.

I like to play

And this time I am playing catch up. I have a feeling I'll be doing that at least a few times over the next year. I shall endeavor to keep up as often as I can, but there will be days. And these have been days....

So, Wednesday. Day 8. The start of the second week. It's been a strange and rambling week full of extreme highs and deadening lows with lots of meh time in between. These shall be rambling posts, I fear; it's probably a good thing I have set a 17 syllable limit on the poem part. :)

Wednesday was the slow end of a week of snow, and we have a grand total of... are you ready? 4 inches. Yes, that's right. Syracuse, just 26 miles down the Thruway, has over 4 feet; Rome has just over 4 inches. Weird. I find myself wondering if this will be the way of the winter ~ backwards, twisted and a little uncertain. Is it a harbinger of the time to come, a sign of the turmoil? Or is it just a fluke of the season? Only time will tell. (Yeah, I have been doing deep thinking lately *grin*)

Okay, on to day 8....

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day. (this one is for all the kids in the Rome/Utica school districts who had to watch as EVERY other district was closed at least one day this week. I remember those days)

Watching, is school closed?
It's been snowing for 5 days.
Still just four inches!

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

I thank a stranger (probably actually someone I know ~ a kind co-worker, or a patron maybe) who brushed my car off for me on Wednesday. It was all set for me to drive home. Very nice. Pass on the kindness, and not just at this time of year.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Woud you prefer a girl or boy child? Would you like to have the choice to determine the gender of the child?

Hmmm, this is one that has definitely changed over the years. If asked this question ten years ago, I would likely have said definitely a girl. Now, after enjoying my nephews so much, I would really have to say it wouldn't matter. I can see the positives (and the negatives) in raising both boys or girls. If I were to have a child, I'd definitely let the fates, the powers that be, and the chromosomes decide the gender.

Bonus: a picture of Bailey in the snow (in Syracuse....)

Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Let's go SU! Ahem, sorry, back to the blog....

Ah, Tuesday. Day seven. A whole week I have been at this project, and I feel it has already been good for me. I am thinking about the weekly projects I am going to add in January, as well as the monthlies I'll add in February. I have also been more aware of the people to whom I might owe a thank you, and there are a lot of them.

Okay, on to day seven....

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

The season begins,
time for cheers, yelling and hope.
Ready for the game!

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

I thank one of my neighbors, no idea which one, for shoveling a nice path from the porch to the garage. It made the walk to my car much nicer, easier, and less snowy this morning and ditto back to the house again this evening.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: If you were to be cremated, where would you want your ashes scattered?

This is another easy one, because I have actually given it some thought. One part I would like scattered on Fern Lake, one part in Ireland, and another part in the HIghlands.

Thanks for listening.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Happy Monday!

Yes, I said Happy Monday; of course, it's easy for me to smile, as I had the day off. It was supposed to be a day of being pampered by my friend Tanny at her new spa. The weather, however, didn't cooperate. The snow fell, the wind blew, and I stayed home. I puttered, cleaned, did laundry, ate soup, walked in the snow with Bailey, read, relaxed and rested.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

As the snow falls swift
blanketing the world in white,
I snuggle, cozy.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

I thank my Dad for brushing off and warming up my car this morning after nearly a foot of snow fell. Sometimes the little things are actually the big ones.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: What would be the worst torture for you?

Anything involving watching (or knowing of) the pain of a loved one would be the worst torture I could imagine. (or something with spiders .... or fire.)

Thanks for listening.

Snowy Sunday, perfect for tea.

Yes, it was the day of my aunt's wonderful Annual Holiday Tea. We socialized and sipped tea and drank kir royales and ate tiny foods and laughed and chatted, many of us wearing silly or outrageous hats. The perfect start to the Holiday season.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Warm laughter and hugs
fill the air as tea is poured.
Smiles and kir royales.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Betty and Kathy do such a glorious job with the holiday tea. Every detail is checked and checked again, the food is delicious, the tea is perfect, the house look wonderful, the laughter fills the air like warm hugs. I'd like to thank them both for their love and hard work which makes all feel so special.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be? Why.

Ah, this one is easy. I'd be a sugar maple tree. I love the gorgeous fiery red leaves they don every fall, and they put forth the wonderful start to maple syrup every spring. Summer brings a canopy of dark green leaves to shelter a picnic, perhaps. And in winter it is stark and bare and yet still gorgeous.

Thanks for listening.

Fore! (um, I mean four....)

No, I didn't go golfing on Saturday. I did watch a few minutes of the most gloriously sunny, green, tropical golf being played with my dad, though. It made me remember spring.

I am catching up a bit as I was gone the past few days on holiday adventures. Saturday was a visit to the nephews, a shopping excursion at the big Craft Show and an exciting (too exciting) game at the Dome. It was also day four.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Remembering green,
warm breezes drift through my mind.
Outside, the snow falls.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Saturday was a wonderful day with my mom. We laughed and shopped and played and yelled and cheered and dropped exhausted at the end of the long day. For Saturday, I'd like to thank her for the best friendship I could imagine.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: Would you stay in a marriage if you could not have sex?

This is such a loaded question. There are so many factors to consider, and sex is such a subjective word. Is there desire, but no fulfillment? Is there nothing but cold rejection? Is there a physical difficulty? The answer concerning each of these would be so different, and when you add in factors such as emotion, long-lastedness, companionship, other physical intimacies....
I am fully unable to give a yes or no answer to this prompt, and thus leave you with the first (but probably not the last) "It depends...."

Thanks for listening.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Day three....

I almost forgot! This doesn't bode well for the project down the road, but I almost forgot already! :)

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Heart beats in my throat.
Wondering, waiting.... Refresh.
tingles.... There it is!

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Today, I thank the unknown patron who, when seeing me with my hands full walking up to the door of the library, stopped in the cold to hold the door for me. It was a nice gesture made with a smile. I thanked her and we went on our way, but the small things have a way of staying with you.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

What are your favorite colors, flowers, foods, activities, hobbies?

Colors: greens, dark purple, dark blues
Flowers: carnations, wild flowers, sunflowers
Foods: Chocolate
Activities: Faires and festivals, movies, music
Hobbies: Cooking, sewing, reading, crafts

Thanks for listening.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What a difference some sunshine makes

It's been a crazy few days, and the weather has certainly not helped. After two solid days of rain, it froze yesterday and began to snow. I should say right up front that I get seasonal blues; I get them badly sometimes, and it really seemed like they were starting early. Yesterday (and Tuesday to a certain extent, as well) was definitely a bluesy day, full of ups and downs and tears and laughter. Today dawned bright and clear and cold and, best of all, SUNNY! And like a miracle of human nature, my mood was improved.

Life really is good, and I need to remind myself of that every once in a while. Luckily I have bunches of wonderful friends who will keep me on track and not let me take myself (or anything else) too seriously. I guess that's one of the goals of this project, too. And so with that, I give you day 2.

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Blues come with the rain;
the world floods with tears. And then
the sun brings a smile.

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Today, I thank Merlyn. You were really here for me this week when I thought the blues were going to make me insane. You sent little notes, you tapped me with hugs and smiles, and you called me just when I needed to hear your voice and laugh with you (not once, but twice). You are the best girlfriend a girl could possibly have, and I love you. Thank you.

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar every day.

Prompt: If you could personally see one natural phenomenon that you have never seen, what would it be?

This one is very easy: the Northern Lights, the Aurora Borealis, the Dance of the Spirits. Call it what you will, it's magical and spiritual and beautiful; and it draws me like a moth to a flame. Someday.

Thanks for listening.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And so it begins

Today seems to be a day for beginnings. The start of December, the beginning of the snowy season, the genesis of my new project. The first of 365 days of self-discovery. So, let us begin....

~*~ First, I will write an haiku every day.

Trying to begin~
a simple haiku to write.
Now comes writer's block?

~*~ Second, I will thank someone for something every day.

Today, I thanked Lisa K at work for the inadvertent and jolting reminder that I have a presentation to give on my Scotland trip. Tomorrow! I completely let it slip my mind, even though it has been on my calendar for months now. So today has been spent remembering the trip, selecting the photos, writing the text and dreaming about Scotland. For that, I truly thank Lisa. :)

~*~ Third, I shall use my journal jar.

Prompt: If you found out there was no afterlife in any sense, how would you change your life?

This is a strangely appropriate prompt for the first day of my new journey. Part of my exploration shall be spiritual in nature, and thus I'm likely to face this kind of question more than once over the next year. It's a simple question for me, though. I wouldn't. I don't live my life in fear of hell, and I don't live my life in longing for heaven (insert your chosen names for said places). I'd like to think I lead a pretty good life, I am kind to people (and other creatures) as often as is possible, I try not to hurt intentionally (either others or myself), I hold to a personal code that I hope would stand up under pretty strong scrutiny, and when I do harm I try to make it better. But I am not perfect, no more or less than anyone else. So, i think I likely wouldn't change much of anything in my day to day life. It would make part of this spiritual searching easier (or at least shorter) though.

Thanks for listening.

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